Monday, November 15, 2010

This is all that I can say

Sometimes someone else can say exactly what you are feeling at the moment, and sometimes say it even better than you can. I found this to be true as I was on my walk today, listening to my iPod, tears streaming down my face, feeling like my heart has been ripped out.

Both my mom and Eric's mom are battling terminal cancer right now and they may leave this earth a lot sooner than I want them to. Lately, my morning walks are my most difficult times to process this grief as I have a lot of silence (even with the music playing in my ears) and 2 1/2 miles to think about these incredible women God has blessed me with. This morning when this David Crowder song came up on my iPod, I was tempted to skip it because it's a very slow song, but I decided to let the words minister to my aching heart. The third verse is what really spoke to me. Through all of this mess that doesn't make any sense to me, Jesus is crying with me. God is holding me.

All I Can Say by the David Crowder Band

Lord I'm tired
So tired from walking
And Lord I'm so alone
And Lord the dark is creeping in
Creeping up to swallow me
I think I'll stop, rest here a while

And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give
That's my everything

And didn't You see me crying?
And didn't You hear me call Your name?
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?
I wish You'd remember where you sat it down

And this is all that I can say right now
I know it's not much
And this is all that I can give
Yeah, that's my everything

I didn't notice You were standing here
I didn't know that that was You holding me
I didn't notice You were crying too
I didn't know that that was You washing my feet

And this is all that I can say right now
I know it's not much
And this is all that I can give
Yeah that's my everything...

2 comments:

ricemark20 said...

I don't know if you know of Mark Schultz, but he did a song called "Walking her home". It will probably make you cry, and at the same time, give you comfort. It is all I can do from this distance.

Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call

And her dad said son
Have her home on time
And promise me you’ll never leave her side
He took her to a show in town
And he was ten feet off the ground

(Chorus)
He was walking her home
Holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled it stole the breath right out of him
Down that old road
With the stars up above
He remembers where he was the night he fell in love
He was walking her home

Ten more years and a waiting room
At half past one
Was when the doctor said come in and meet your son

And his knees went weak
When he saw his wife
She was smiling and she said he’s got your eyes

And as she slept he held her tight
His mind went back to that first night

(Chorus)

He walked her through the best days of her life
Sixty years together and he never left her side

A nursing home
At eighty-five
And the doctor said it could be her last night
And the nurse said Oh
Should we tell him now
Or should we wait until the morning to find out

But when they checked her room that night
He was laying by her side

Oh he was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled when he said this is not the end
And just for a while they were eighteen
And she was still more beautiful to him than anything
He was walking her home
He was walking her home

Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call

Christine H. said...

Thanks! I have heard it...it's a good song.
Your mom called me the other day. She said she was going to call my mom.
It was great talking to you last week!